Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Real Men Drink Guinness

I love this ad so much, I take pictures of the billboards whenever I’m out.

Guinness is a staple in Nigeria. Every time I see this ad I think of my father and uncles (all manly men) sitting at the table, enjoying their stouts.

Imagine a bunch of manly men at a table. Now say “come drink at the table of men” but say it in a deep voice. Think Gerard Butler as Leonidus in 300.


Friday, February 24, 2012

The Shelf Life of a Famewhore
"Listen to Paris Hilton’s New Single (At Your Own Risk)". That’s the title of’s review of Hilton’s new song “Drunk Texting”.

Yes, that seriously is the name of the song.

There was a time when all of these news sites gave Hilton the time of day. Now she openly gets mocked on It happened to her, it happened to Speidi, believe me, it’ll happen to the Kardashians.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Chris Brown, Rihanna and The Girlfriend No One Really Cares About

Are Chris Brown and Rihanna going to be making music together again? Word on the street is they are. And they’re all buddy-buddy again. And possibly in love depending on which site you read. And that’s their right, I guess. Though I happen to agree 100% with Britni who brought up some great points on her site.

Do you ever wonder how Chris Brown’s girlfriend feels about the rumors? You know, his cute gal Karrueche Tran? The girl who looks like she should be on Sailor Moon?

I didn’t even know they were still together until I saw photos of them at the airport.

She’s gotta be worried, right? Between the love-proclaiming tweets and collabos? What do you do in her situation? Because she’s really (really) pretty. But she’s not Rihanna. And her claim to fame is a dude who beat his last girlfriend up.

It’s not like Chris Brown isn’t with Rihanna because HE dumped HER. And that always makes it different, doesn’t it? When you’re not the one who chose to end things doesn’t it make the moving on harder?

She’s not even part of the discussion and that's embarrassing. Is he worth it?

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Revisiting The Wedding Planner

Guess what was on Universal Channel on Valentine’s Day and again a few days later? “The Wedding Planner”! Did you know Jennifer Lopez was the first woman to have the number 1 movie and the number 1 album in America at the same time? If you ask me, the album wasn’t bad (if you like that sort of thing). The movie, on the other hand, was shit. Plain and simple. I re-watched it for the first time in years and I couldn’t believe how bad it was. I couldn’t believe Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey starred in it.

Was it always this bad or has my taste gotten better with age?

Something you should know about me: I’m not the biggest romantic comedy fan. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll watch it on TBS on a Saturday when I’m deep-conditioning my hair. But I will never pay to see a romantic comedy in a theater because I can’t justify sitting an hour and a half through a movie I haven’t seen before when I know how it’s going to end. Am I alone in this?

I get that I’m a minority when it comes to rom-coms. People are happy watching the same story over and over. For instance, Yemi loves romantic comedies; the more formulaic they are, the better. She has also seen every movie that has been adapted from a Nicholas Sparks book.

What does a romantic comedy need to not make you want to gag? For me it has to be funny as hell and not in a Katherine Heigl movie kind of way.

What about you guys?

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Posing On The Red Carpet Like Lea Michele 
A lot of people tease the Lea Micheles and the J.Los of the world. The women who pose for a photo like they’re being shot for a Vogue cover. Until the photo comes out and they always look good while your ass looks ten types of fug in every photo you take (by you I mean me).

Arise Magazine Fashion Week is coming up in March. Last year I was photographed. I look constipated in the photo.

Should I start practicing my poses?

Friday, February 10, 2012

What Kind of Season Will We Get With Emily As Bachelorette?

I can’t wait for Emily’s season of “The Bachelorette”. Will it be the most boring season ever? How could it be? Look at her. Men get so stupid around pretty girls. Imagine the possibilities! The anticipation is killing me

I saw recent pictures of Emily with Ashley and Ali. Did she already get a Bachelor makeover? I didn’t think you could improve a Barbie but she’s even hotter now. The cake face is gone; she looks fresher. Her hair is all flowy and blonde, her boobs are fantastic, she’s tiny, she’s tan, she’s perfect. The men on her season are going to go ape-shit.

Will Emily live up to her rep as beautiful but frigid or will she be ridiculously fun to watch? I think we’ll see a different side. I think Emily will let her hair down a bit. She’s not going to slut it up (she’s a mother y’all) but she’s 25 and the guys will be on her turf for much of the “journey”. Team Bachelor has made this process a lot easier for her.

I read EW’s post in response to the news that Emily was the new bachelorette.

Should I feel bad for wanting the same hot mess shenanigans the show always delivers? It’s not like I don’t want the girl to find love; I’m not a complete bitch. But let’s get real: TV is for entertainment. The Bachelor/Bachelorette is a reality TV show. There are hundreds of less humiliating ways to find love so the way I see it, Emily is fair game.

What do you think Bachelor fans?

Thursday, February 2, 2012

"The Hunger Games" Second Trailer

The second trailer is out and I haven’t seen it yet because my Internet is slow as hell. These are the moments, people. These are the moments when I get bitter. Because it used to be so easy to just go to, enter “new Hunger Games trailer” into the search engine and watch a video that is probably 4 minutes max. Here, loading a 4-min video is something that will take hours.

Anyway, I’m counting down the months. They’re currently showing “The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo”, “Immortals” and “Breaking Dawn: Part 1” here so I’m pretty confident that they’ll show “The Hunger Games” too. The film opens in the states in March meaning it probably won’t show in cinemas here till April, maybe May. So I have to wait a while longer to watch it. But just knowing I get to experience it in a theater makes me all warm inside.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Emily Maynard Steals Ben Flajnik's Thunder.

I finally gave in and read Kristen Baldwin’s recaps of “The Bachelor” on Sounds like this season is interesting. Ben is a different kind of bachelor, Courtney’s a bitch and there are a lot of criers this season which is saying something considering the show I’m writing about.

Despite all of that, I’m okay with missing Ben’s season. I don’t mind finding out who’s going to end up with the hot, geeky, wine-maker on a blog. I can wait till I come back to New York to watch the episodes (it probably won’t be my number one priority but I will watch).

Why am I, a self-confessed Bachelor freak, so chill?

Emily is the new bachelorette. Her season is the season to watch.  In my eyes, Emily has already made Ben's season irrelevant which may have been intentional on Team Bachelor’s part since this season’s  ratings are so low.