Saturday, November 1, 2014
When Your Taste in Men is Shit.
I realized I've been dating for ten years. Isn't that crazy? I don't even know how to feel about that. If dating was a career and the last ten years were a bust, wouldn't it be time to switch careers?
Or is it more about the journey and all that other zen stuff?
We can all hope that as we age, we wizen up. I certainly have. There are a lot of things I believed in and did in my late teens/early twenties that I now realize was just stupid. For example, after reflecting on the past ten years, I can admit my taste in men was bad.
I would have saved myself a lot of time if I had some standards and stuck to them.
I realize now that:
I no longer feel the need to entertain a guy just because he's interested in me.
My mother has started giving my number out to randoms. I guess I should be more upset but I really don't care. My policy is "just because you call, doesn't mean I have to pick up the phone."
I can't tell you how many guys I went out with because I wanted to give them a chance, even though I wouldn't let them near my hands, let alone my vagina. Ladies, if you're not into the guy asking, don't feel bad about it and go out with him anyway.
Sensitive, arty types with hipster tendencies are the WORST.
Having a boyfriend seemed like one of the most amazing things ever as a teenager. But it wasn't just about having a boyfriend, it was about having the right boyfriend. I'm a product of the 90s and I was an angsty youth which pretty much means Angela Chase was my jam. So in my head, the perfect guy for me had to be sensitive but strong, self-deprecating but confident, good-looking but completely unaware of it, and an artist (because I wanted someone who would "get me"), a fan of indie music (being in a band was negotiable).
28 yr old me to 17 yr old me: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
Does a good-looking artist who is confident but modest exist? I'll never know because I am done with artists.
What used to sound so cool to me is, in reality, a freaking nightmare. I dated an actor for a while. I have never been with a more confused, indecisive person in my life. There's nothing romantic about a guy that doesn't know what he wants.
Guys either like you or they don't.
Look, don't waste your time with guys who can't take the time to pick up a phone and call. Don't waste your time on a guy that makes every single warning sign buzz and light up. If you have to constantly rationalize why he:
only texts you at night,
is in a "complicated" relationship,
likes you a lot but doesn't want to put labels on anything,
doesn't know what you do for a living/ what your last name is/ takes you to a steak restaurant on your bday even though you're a vegan and you told him that (true fucking story).
ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION!
So my goal in life is to find a balance between these ideas:
Don't waste your time.
Don't crap on anything in life that teaches you a lesson and helps you grow.
Here's to figuring it out.