Confessions of a Master Cleanser

I promised I would explain why I’m doing a master cleanse. Here’s my explanation:

I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish recently and decided the best way to combat this was to cleanse. See, while in New York I partook in some pizza eating and since I’ve been back in Florida I’ve been very, very naughty. I’m talking about eating tilapia, a mozzarella and tomato sandwich, ice cream and enough pop-tarts to justify an endorsement deal from Kelloggs. I’ve been a busy girl albeit a bad one.

So I decided to cleanse all that crap out of my body because at the end of the day, I’m much happier as a vegan; I just tend to get lazy sometimes and eat crap that’s toxic to my body. I’ve done the master cleanse in the past and it’s gone well and I figured it would be a great way to give myself a break from food and clean up my body and my life because right now every aspect of my life is cluttered and disorganized.

I also wanted to lose the weight that I think I gained since being back in Florida (I even had a thinspiration box put together because I tend to make boxes for everything).

So I set the date, bought sea salt, lemons, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and two bottles to lug my spicy lemonade around. With my ingredients I started the journey towards fixing all of my problems with 15 days of detox.

Yeah…

I made it to the end of Day 4, said “f*ck it all” and happily dug into the previously mentioned pineapple.

And it was good.

I’m sorry but I just refuse to do it this time around; call me weak, a pansy, or a gluttonous disgrace if you like.

The last times I did the master cleanse, the incentive was to lose weight, which I did. I’m now 146 pounds, a pound away from my happy weight and that was achieved by switching to a vegan diet. I think it’s time to get off my flabby ass and start exercising to get that last pound off.

And all that clutter in my life; it’s still there. But I think I’m going to battle it with food in my stomach.