I'm Too Old for The Warped Tour

Sooo...

Where do I begin? The beginning? Fantastic idea!

While it's not easy to make friends when you spend most of your time in front of a computer blogging about your irritation with skinny jeans being around for yet another season, I've met some cool people through my internships. One of those people happen to be Jamella (yo girl)!

Anywho, Jamella and I have tried to hang out and enjoy our time in this awesome city together. She told me about the Warped Tour taking place in Uniondale, NY and I thought why not? I've never been and it beats staying home on a Saturday.

After getting some work done for the boss lady, I put on what I thought was concert-appropriate attire (for someone who is too vain to be sensible). Donning a khaki hat, gray halter from Plato's Closet and a cute floral skirt from Target, I was ready to rock out like Penny Lane.

Let's fast forward through the ridiculously long commute to Uniondale shall we?

I get to this incredibly normal suburb (they have a Bravo there) and stroll up to the venue of the festival/concert and two of the vendors asked if I was there to pick up my kids. Blank stare. I'm sorry, what? Me? Really? Wow. This is going to create so many issues .

Once they saw the look of shock on my face, they asked me how old I was? I answered with a bit of an attitude but don't judge me until someone asks you if you have teenagers when you're only 23. The men (women wouldn't be so cruel) ofcourse backpedaled and told me I looked great but the damage was done. I am officially on a strict anti-wrinkle regimen.

Moving on...

I meet up with Jamella and we walked around a bit before heading over to the stage where one of her fave bands were playing. I should probably mention now how young everyone around me was. I'm not talking 18. People, I'm talking hormones, braces, acne and underage drinking. I was among adolescents, jail bait, kids. Yes, children. I had to be one of the oldest people actually attending this event. No wonder why those men thought I was middle-aged; they were surrounded by preschoolers all day.

Anyway, we squeeze ourselves in with the rest of the crowd and wait for Breathe Carolina to get on stage. When they did, everyone went wild. I'm not really familiar with any of the bands on the tour so it was cool to hear some different stuff and I was really enjoying myself. Then something happened. It was confusing really. Still is. I'm not sure what to make of it.

The guitarist/ keytarist Josh spit into the audience.

Spit.

And he was really into it too. His whole body participated as he inhaled and cleared his throat to really let a good one out. And it traveled quite a distance as well, not hitting the girls in the front but the girls behind them.

My time in New York has shown me that there's an art form to spitting. Since people here insist on spitting on sidewalks, on the road, outside of cabs and in the subway stations, I've had time to study different techniques. It's something to do when I forget my ipod. Sometimes I get lucky and I'll have a spitter on the actual train.

But back to the spitter on stage.

I was shocked that he spit. I was FLOORED when I heard the squeals of joy his snot-hawking elicited. What the hell is wrong with America's youth?

Moving on to the next band we saw, Escape the Fate. Well before they came on stage, me and Jamella were waiting - with more children- and then I felt something wet splash on my arm. I freaked. A little. I thought it was spit. Irrational? Maybe under normal circumstances.

Turns out it was water (I'm hoping). Besides the water splashing, actual bottles started descending from the heavens. Along with trash, barbecue sauce packets and everything else that had any weight at all. I was the lucky recipient of a bottle stuffed sock. It hit me on my head. See, the children around us were so bored that they decided to pass the time by throwing things into the crowd.

Because that makes time actually go faster.

Once the band came on stage, the bottle throwing stopped and they started a mosh pit instead. Me and Jamella elected to skip the moshing and watched the band's performance from the safety of the back.

I once again started listening to the music and I liked them. Then the lead singer had to go and ruin it by asking all the ladies in the crowd to climb up on a guy's - any guy- shoulders and let the band see their boobs.

And some girls did.

I've been holding it in but I have to ask: what the fuckity fuck?

The concerts ended and Jamella and I headed to the golden arches for some grub and then made the long journey home.

And that was my first Warped Tour experience. I obviously didn't love it but I had a great time hanging out with Jamella. I always love meeting new people and it was fun doing something different. But you won't be seeing me at another Warped Tour anytime soon.

Old folks like me are better suited for venues with a no - spitting policy.

Here are more pictures; video to come!

Anyone feel like fast food (there's some illegal substances involved for your time)?

Hi everyone! How’s everyone doing? Good? Great, okay let’s do this blog thingy. I have more than five projects due preferably before tomorrow morning so we’re gonna do a quickie, fast food style.
Well my friends, the rain stopped so yay to that. Thank God, I couldn’t take another day of bad hair and soggy flats.
I still love it here and I’m now working on my plans for the big move in December. My expenses aren’t really going to increase surprisingly so yay to that as well.
But who cares about that stuff? Let’s get to the good stuff like getting offered cocaine and being propositioned in the same breath (I have so much respect for multitaskers).
I was in serious need of some bad dancing that couldn’t be blame on alcohol consumption so my temp roomie Dave, his boyfriend Jesus and I headed to the East Village to a club called Pyramid. We met up with their friend Charlie and Shola met up with us later. Anywho, we’re standing in front of Cock… and this guy comes up to us and says something. I’m thinking the guys know him or something but noooo. Turns out he was trying to sell us "the powder". Ofcourse the guys turned him down and then he looked at me and asked if I was gay. I was tempted to say yes.

I mean really; why do people go around asking that question? It’s like me going up to a random person and asking if they’re straight.

Anyway, said no and he said I was “fine” and asked what my name was. I then did what I always do in situations like this (ha, cuz it happens all the time) I put my arms around Charlie and Jesus and said I was with my boys tonight.
On to Pyramid, where 80s music played and people danced with abandon. Let’s put it this way, I didn’t look like a bad dancer among this group : )

It did have me thinking about crazy encounters when going out. What's the craziest thing that has happened to you during a night out; when all you wanted to do was knock back a few and drop it like it's hot?

P.S: How funny is it that I'm at a bar in New York and the bartender is a blonde-haired boy displaying his O-town love for the world to see?

I Think I Have Hepatitis

You know how I’m having this crazy love affair with NYC? Well, we had our first fight. People, this place SUCKS when it rains. I got home last night (after heading to Midtown then back to Brooklyn then JFK) and all I wanted to do was take a shower. With bleach. I think I may have hepatitis. There are things in my hair that I’m afraid to even touch and I just straightened it yesterday! So now I look like a black Carrot Top; not a good look. Surely, there’s a better way to get around the city when it’s raining. What’s that? Drive? Yeah, that makes sense... I still hate driving.

Anyway, now that the venting is over, what’s up? I know I know; what happened to once a week right? Well, I’ve been so busy blogging for the other internships that I haven’t had time to write anything on mine. Ch-ch-check for yourself.

But I’m here now! What’s good? What’s poppin’ lockin’ yo? I heard about the Magic... Bummer. So are they completely out now or do they get to play again? Is there a second place prize like they do when you’re in elementary or primary school?

I’m still enjoying my stay in New York despite the bipolar weather. Here’s the gist on what’s been up:

Work:
You know when you mess up big time and it’s made worse because you have absolutely no one to blame but yourself? No? I guess that’s just my story. Well, it’s been a week since I royally screwed up at my internship. Some of you were asking what I did. Well amigos, I missed a really important meeting. I didn’t oversleep; I was actually awake writing a post for the blog. I had no excuse whatsoever. If I could beat the crap out of myself, I totally would because that was beyond dumb of me. And then when I was sent on an errand, I left a very important package with the receptionist without having him sign something. MY bad again. It was a very crappy week.

But I wallowed in pity about it and now I’m just working harder and being smarter about things. I started my second internship at Xanga.com; the offices are right across from the New York Times offices so that’s cool. Boss Lady 2 is really nice and I’m learning a lot from that one as well.

Boss Lady 1 sent me to represent the mag at a blog bash to celebrate Zandile Blay and her blog The Blay Report Thursday night. Zandile is a Ghana beauty who just happens to work as a writer and stylist. And she's so very nice. Her party took me to SoHo for a shindig at Bjorn Borg; an underwear shop. I walked over and found myself pleasantly surprised by the male models with their model bodies and model faces. : ) : ) : ) : ) : )
C’mon, that’ll put a smile on anyone’s face. I have never seen so many good looking men in one place in my whole life and they were only wearing BOXERS; I kid you not. I also got a chance to meet some really cool people; editors, writers, models, actors, people who work in PR and Marketing and just fashion people in general. I'm quickly learning that networking is a big part of this industry. Eeeeek. Thank you to Danica and Lola for letting me tag along for most of the night; attending parties solo can be daunting. Here’s a pic of the ladies and me.

Jaslene from ANTM was there and she is as skinny as she looks on t.v.; she’s also very pretty. I met Jason from the first season of Stylista and his amazingly cool boyfriend, also named Jason whose an actor and is actually from Florida. Jason and I had a great time talking about UCF of all things. Go Knights.

Excursions, Run Ins and Everything Else I do when I’m not Working:
So on a personal note, I saw my sister Yemi graduate last Friday! Yemi’s going to medical school to be a surgeon and help save lives. She gave a speech in front of her graduating class that was AWESOME! And I’m not just saying that. I was literally in tears when she practiced earlier in the morning. All the siblings were there and the mama; it was a nice time. I’m so proud of my family.

So I experienced my first “what the fuckity fuck” (excuse the language but get used to it) moment! Here’s the short version because I don’t want to bore you with details; I’m broke like you wouldn’t believe so I was on my way to a job interview and this guy grabbed me from behind. Many people assume that I’m very gentle (ha) and flighty (true) because I’m nice but mama don’t play that. I may not be a New Yorker but my survival instincts are strong and intact. If you attack me, I’m going to protect myself (duh). So I elbowed the grabber and stepped on his foot (thank you very much kickboxing classes) and yelled something at the top of my lungs that I wouldn’t usually say in front of a stranger, turned around - the guy dropped his arms strangely enough- and said “excuse me” when I saw grandpa in front of me. No, not my grandpa. The older fella said “Wha – we were headed in the same direction. We must have bumped into each other.” No, I was walking straight ahead not backward; how do you bump into someone from behind? The guy scared the crap out of me but what am I going to do? Beat up a senior citizen? I respect the elderly and I actually felt bad. I walked away, checked my purse and prayed because I was pretty shaken.

What else… I found vegan cake!!!! Thank you God; I thought I was going to die. Shola took me to the Tea Lounge in Park Slope, a tea shop/bar (cute bartenders) and I figured it was a long shot but I asked if they had any vegan desserts and they had not one but two vegan cakes. I ordered the macaroon one and it was really good. I’ll definitely be going back for the cake (not the cute bartender with the dimples).

It's sunny outside and I'm not working. I should be outside. Any suggestions? What would you do if you had the weekend to explore this city a bit?