Movies To Stop Airing On Africa Magic Channels

So I read this article today. Africa Magic and other African channels have been given till May to stop airing movies.

Hmm. This sounds temporary. I hope it is. Because In the three months that I've been here I have seen Africa Magic airing everywhere from the doctor's office to fast food restaurants. If that channel isn't allowed to air Nollywood movies anymore, does the Film, Video Producers and Marketers Association of Nigeria (FVPMAN) really think people will flock to theaters and buy the movies on DVD?

We live in a world where even Hollywood movies are being released on demand before or as they hit theaters (Last Night is a great example). And watching a movie in the states is not nearly as difficult as watching a movie in Nigeria, where the theater is .more than two hours away (unless you live on the island), the traffic to get there is a nightmare and the ticket is overpriced compared to the standard of living of most citizens. Not to mention the fact that a lot of people don't use DVD players here as much (cable is cheaper than constantly buying new films and TV series).

I'm just saying this may not be the smartest move for the Nollywood film industry.

Revisiting The Wedding Planner

Guess what was on Universal Channel on Valentine’s Day and again a few days later? “The Wedding Planner”! Did you know Jennifer Lopez was the first woman to have the number 1 movie and the number 1 album in America at the same time? If you ask me, the album wasn’t bad (if you like that sort of thing). The movie, on the other hand, was shit. Plain and simple. I re-watched it for the first time in years and I couldn’t believe how bad it was. I couldn’t believe Jennifer Lopez and Matthew McConaughey starred in it.

Was it always this bad or has my taste gotten better with age?

Something you should know about me: I’m not the biggest romantic comedy fan. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll watch it on TBS on a Saturday when I’m deep-conditioning my hair. But I will never pay to see a romantic comedy in a theater because I can’t justify sitting an hour and a half through a movie I haven’t seen before when I know how it’s going to end. Am I alone in this?

I get that I’m a minority when it comes to rom-coms. People are happy watching the same story over and over. For instance, Yemi loves romantic comedies; the more formulaic they are, the better. She has also seen every movie that has been adapted from a Nicholas Sparks book.
 
What does a romantic comedy need to not make you want to gag? For me it has to be funny as hell and not in a Katherine Heigl movie kind of way.

What about you guys?

Airing Reality Television Overseas: Are We Giving Other Countries The Wrong Idea About Americans?

I can’t get “Modern Family” here but they air “Keeping Up With The Kardashians”, “Basketball Wives” and shows like them. And that’s fine. Back in the states, I watched and enjoyed “The Jersey Shore” more than anyone should so I get it. But people need substance to survive. They need more than crack. That’s what these shows are; crack cocaine.

I recently read an interview actor Brian J. White gave. In that interview he talked about black women being stereotyped because of shows like “The Real Housewives of Atlanta” and “Love and Basketball”.

I used to get so annoyed by the argument that television was bad for the youth. The idea that watching a couple getting hot and heavy on “Melrose Place” or watching someone get shot on “NYPD Blue” (I’m totally aging myself) would directly affect young viewers was laughable to me. I argued that people gave television too much credit.

And that’s essentially the same argument as the stereotypical black females on reality TV one, right? People are upset because they think viewers watching those shows will think all black women are loud, money-hungry famewhores and young viewers will want to emulate them. But who’s stupid enough to think a whole race of women are no different than a couple of chicks on TV?

Now I’m not so sure.

I live in a country where a lot of people have never interacted with a foreigner before. And I know for a fact that a lot of Nigerians get their information about Americans from movies and television. Can you imagine the warped ideas people have about the United States if all of their information comes from rap music videos?

Fuck standards. We're rich!

So now, when I watch an episode of  “Keeping Up With The Kardashians” here in Lagos, I’m kind of filled with horror. Do Nigerians think all Americans are like that?

When in Rome...

Re-runs of this? FML.

When you’re living in a different country, it’s important to be able to adapt and embrace your new environment.  When in Rome, don’t be the douchey American who brings his own utensils to a restaurant.

But when it comes to television, I just can’t. Because I’ve tried watching Nigerian television shows and I’m rolling my eyes so much, I look like I’m having a seizure.

The truth is, a lot of the shows here suffer from repetitive storylines, bad acting and even worse editing. I can deal with one of these issues but not three at the same time.

So I’m incredibly thankful for cable. It’s a luxury that I couldn’t afford on my own in the states but my parents are smart people; they bribed me into staying longer with the promise of cable television and all the cherimoya I can eat.

We have DSTV’s Family package so I don’t get MNet, which sucks (that channel shows “Glee”, “Grey’s Anatomy” and other shows I actually watch). But since we rarely have light during the day anyway, it’s not that big a deal.

What we do get is the Universal Channel, home of “Two and a Half Men”, “CSI” and every other crime/ law/ police drama that’s ever been on TV as well as B movies Lifetime wouldn’t air. On the bright side, “House” airs on Tuesdays at 8:50 pm. I’m down.

MNet Series Africa airs “The Bachelor”. Yesssssss! It’s two seasons behind but I may watch it anyway. Season 1 of “Parenthood” comes on at 8 on Sundays. “The 9 lives of Chloe King” and “Hellcats” air on Mondays. I tried watching Chloe King on Netflix one day. It was unusually bad. “Being Human” comes on after that though and I’ve wanted to watch it. Has anyone seen that show?

SCORE! “The Office” comes on right after “Friends With Benefits” (another show I wanted to check out) on Tuesdays.

“Switched at Birth” comes on Thursdays and “Person of Interest” on Fridays.

Do you think less of me since I'm putting together a schedule?