Confessions of a Master Cleanser

I promised I would explain why I’m doing a master cleanse. Here’s my explanation:

I’ve been feeling a bit sluggish recently and decided the best way to combat this was to cleanse. See, while in New York I partook in some pizza eating and since I’ve been back in Florida I’ve been very, very naughty. I’m talking about eating tilapia, a mozzarella and tomato sandwich, ice cream and enough pop-tarts to justify an endorsement deal from Kelloggs. I’ve been a busy girl albeit a bad one.

So I decided to cleanse all that crap out of my body because at the end of the day, I’m much happier as a vegan; I just tend to get lazy sometimes and eat crap that’s toxic to my body. I’ve done the master cleanse in the past and it’s gone well and I figured it would be a great way to give myself a break from food and clean up my body and my life because right now every aspect of my life is cluttered and disorganized.

I also wanted to lose the weight that I think I gained since being back in Florida (I even had a thinspiration box put together because I tend to make boxes for everything).

So I set the date, bought sea salt, lemons, cayenne pepper, maple syrup and two bottles to lug my spicy lemonade around. With my ingredients I started the journey towards fixing all of my problems with 15 days of detox.

Yeah…

I made it to the end of Day 4, said “f*ck it all” and happily dug into the previously mentioned pineapple.

And it was good.

I’m sorry but I just refuse to do it this time around; call me weak, a pansy, or a gluttonous disgrace if you like.

The last times I did the master cleanse, the incentive was to lose weight, which I did. I’m now 146 pounds, a pound away from my happy weight and that was achieved by switching to a vegan diet. I think it’s time to get off my flabby ass and start exercising to get that last pound off.

And all that clutter in my life; it’s still there. But I think I’m going to battle it with food in my stomach.

Eating my Feelings

Some of you already know this but I’m currently master cleansing (I’ll explain why and everything else in tomorrow’s post, readers).

I didn’t feel the need to write on Days 1, 2 or 3 because I was feeling pretty good. Today, however, is a totally different story. I was craving food a bit yesterday but it wasn’t terrible.

Today is different. All I’m thinking about is food! But something happened today that makes me wonder why I'm craving food.

I received a text from my mom this morning saying my grandfather passed away. I’m upset but I’m not going to fake a relationship that I never had with the man. I, unfortunately, didn’t know my grandfather very well.

If I’m honest with myself, the tears and the loss I feel is because I will never get a chance to know the man who helped bring my favorite person into the world. That sucks and now I want food.

So I stayed home today just because I wasn’t up to going to work. I wanted to be able to talk to family and cry without having to run out of my cubicle at Internship # 4.

But staying home was a huge mistake. I was thinking I could clean my room or do some work but I couldn’t concentrate so I decided to forget about my life for a while and watch some soaps. The thing I forgot was how soap operas have commercials and an alarming amount of commercials are advertising some kind of food.

So now, I have Ferrero Rocher chocolates on my mind. Not to mention the fact that my dear neighbor Mr. B brought over a loaf of fresh baked bread that is currently taunting me from the freezer. And I have two chunks of pineapple left in my fridge from last week.

In short, I want fooooooooooood.

Sigh.

4 days almost down, 11 days to go (though I’m seriously considering stopping after Day 10).