Why Can't My Life Be A Free People Short Film?

Rangeen Roshambo

Romance Is Stupid.

Ladies, am I alone here?

I don't know if this is because I've seen too much (I know I sound like a war victim).

Regardless of the reason, I'm not into the lovey-dovey stuff.  While I'm cool with it in movies and on TV, romantic gestures immediately make me suspicious in real life.

The problem with a romantic gesture is it never feels genuine to me.
Forcing it lacks sincerity.
A lack of sincerity in anybody is not cool but in a guy, it's a total lady-boner killer.

You say "I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you."
I think "You don't even know me! I could be crazy."
Then I think "this guy is either a liar or really stupid."
And... I can't be with a stupid person.

So keep your roses and other cliche gifts. Don't come to me with poems or grand declarations of love a day after we've met. I don't believe a word you're saying and now I think you're cheesy. And possibly stupid.

Am I bitch for feeling this way? Probably.

Am I cynical? Definitely.

But am I alone? I don't think so.

It goes hand in hand with not wanting some emo dude who believes real love is intense and all-consuming and making love (ugh) is supposed to make you cry.

Like really?

I believe there are plenty of women who don't want an Edward/Romeo/Stefan (Insert mopey, sensitive, pop-culture character). I believe there are women out there like me that want to laugh with someone, not sit in awe trying to absorb the magnitude of feelings he evokes or some shit.

Love can be epic without the angst and feelings and tears, right? What do you guys think?

When You Say "Let's Get Married" You Mean Forever, Right?

Forever eva forever eva forever eva?

I mean... Forever is a long time. A long time to be married to the same person. A long time to be sharing your space with another person. Is it even natural?

How well do you ever really know the person you're married to? It always fascinates me; watching those shows about husbands or wives that end up being serial killers. Not because I'm shocked but because this could happen to anyone! You think you know him/her but unless you have access to his/her head, you don't really know what's going on, do you?

Do you know the person you're sleeping next to?

Should you know the person you're sleeping next to? Call me crazy but there is nothing appealing to me about telling all of my secrets, thoughts, shit to another person. It's private and no I don't want to share. Am I the only one who thinks it's unhealthy to share every aspect of your life with another person?

Under the best circumstances, it's all so final and permanent. And how often is marriage under the best circumstances?

Happy Valentine's Day.

"Of all the things that you could be, you never could learn how to be me."

Lisa Loeb.

Some mark the holiday with candy and kisses, I like angsty girl music.

"The Bachelor": Why I Watch Every Week.

Anyone who follows me on Twitter (right here if you're interested), knows I am a HUGE fan of the reality television show "The Bachelor". I watch it religiously (Monday nights at 8:00 PM Eastern time).

Anyway, my Bachelor obsession has resulted in some hilarious Monday nights for me. It's also led to a few people "unfollowing" me on Twitter.

Eh, I can't please everyone.

So what's the appeal? Why do I tune in every week to see grown women compete for a guy's affection? There are lots of reasons:

It's hilarious.

I'm sorry, I know this is evil and some may say it's my inner bitch coming out to play but I love reality television. Seeing a bunch of adults make asses of themselves is awesome. I thoroughly enjoy laughing at the stupidity of others. This is the draw of "The Bachelor", "The Jersey Shore", "The Real World" and many of the other shows I watch. Just ask Kristen Baldwin; she writes the best Bachelor related recaps EVER.

Twitter makes everything better.

Have you guys ever tweeted and watched your fave show simultaneously? Fun fun fun. Now I may be biased but in my opinion, some of the wittiest, most hilarious statements tweeted in 140 characters or less have come from Bachelor fans (shout out to some of my "Twitter friends": @iamSalt7, @Deedraesi, @Silprincess22, @mollyCLE, @keysygirl, @LoveMarci , @SoFlyLadyDi, @267rachael). And the drinking games these men and women have come up with gets my week started right. If you ever decide to join me, just know you have to take a shot every time someone on the show says "journey", "best date ever", "leap of faith", "I gave up so much to be here", "I've never felt this way before", "I didn't expect to fall this quickly", or anytime bachelor host Chris Harrison says "The most dramatic season ever!" in the previews.

The Bachelor is so popular on Twitter on Monday nights that people tune in just to see what everyone is tweeting about. If you decide to do the same, I highly recommend reading @Possessionista and @jenniferweiner's Bachelor tweets to fully submerse yourself in the experience. Hey, there's no half-assing this!

I'm an optimist at heart.
I enjoy a laugh at the expense of the Bachelor contestants and I enjoy doing that laughing along with everyone else watching on Twitter. But at the end of the day, I am rooting for these people. Despite the odds being against them (the cameras), some people actually find love on this show. It's fascinating to get a glimpse - albeit a small one - of that happening. These people may be a little crazy for being on reality TV but they're still real people. I want the bachelor or bachelorette to find love, I want Snooki to finally find her perfect guido-juicehead-monkey soul-mate and I want the seven strangers picked to live in a house to learn from each other and become life-long friends.

I may be a bitch but this bitch loves a happy ending.

A Black Woman's Love Life: One Epic Fail

"How many men do you know...black men...who can effectively deal with
a mate who has more education...and makes more money?
Not many. They freak." Drew's friend, Jungle Fever.

















Greetings from my incredibly hot room.

I apologize for the weird posting; I forgot it was scheduled to be posted on Friday and I never finished it.

I’ve been sitting on this video for months now, debating whether or not throwing my opinion into the discussion would be worth it. After all, this topic is more played out than a Lady Gaga song.

But it's out now so...

Let the rant begin.

I’ve posted quite a few videos that have been making the rounds online. They are all about black women and why they’re still single. More specifically, they discuss black women and their standards, the demise of the black family and dating outside of one’s race.

Check out the videos if you have time. If you’d rather not, I’ll list off some statistics for you:

• According to the ABC News video, there are more black women than black men in the United States. 2 million more.
• If every black man married a black woman, one in twelve would still find themselves left out.
• 42% of black women have never been married.

The statistics go on and on. So what’s the problem?

Well it looks like the blame has been put on me and every other single black lady out there. We’re too picky. Yep, we are too picky.
Hill Harper explains “95% of black women want the 5% of black men” ,
Jimmy Israel calls it the “”Denzel Principle”. He says “you’re looking for Mr.Perfect when you yourself aren't.”

Steve Harvey says pretty much the same thing. Black women don’t want to date a black man who doesn’t have his shit together and they need to learn to date men who may not.
This brings me to a very interesting article. The New York Times article pretty much explored the repercussions of men marrying women who were more successful professionally.

I, for one, am utterly bored with this topic which is why it’s taken me so long to address it. There really isn’t a satisfactory explanation for why black women are still single. It is what it is.

I can't speak for anyone but myself so I won't generalize.

I'm called picky all the time. ALL the time. And I don't give a rat's ass. Because I know I'm not. Picky is dissing a guy because his sneakers aren't designer. Picky is turning a guy down because he doesn't like the same music as you.

I will give every guy a chance, meaning I'll talk to you.

I am, however, careful. In my experience, ignoring my instincts and going on a date when I knew it wasn't right has been a waste of my time.

• I meet way too many guys who are suffering from the slut syndrome. They have girlfriends and still try to date someone on the side. And then they have the audacity to get angry when a woman finds out and wants to end things (like they're doing all women a favor by dating as many of us as possible).
• I meet way too many guys who think because they speak English, they're special.You don't have a job, fine. But you're not in school either. You're not disabled, so what are you doing? Surely you don't expect me to date someone who has no desire whatsoever to do anything. If that's the case, you're just a walking vibrator.
  
• I meet way too many guys who want a 10 when they're a 4 at best.
• I meet way too many guys who become resentful instead of supportive when their girlfriends' careers take off.
• I meet way too many guys who don't reciprocate the support they expect.

Like I said, it is what it is. But for the sake of this argument, let me lower my expectations. I'll throw my ridiculous list out the window and start off easy: be single. Really single. Don't have a wife or a girlfriend and try talking to me.

I can tell you right now that eliminates most of the guys that have approached me in the last three years.

Now let's start the talk about how "women expect too much from men" and "men will be men and do what men do".

So over it.

To My Partners In Crime

I was never one of those girls who had this tight group of girlfriends I went to with all of my problems. I figured since I lucked out in the family department, I didn't get that. So there was never a Samantha to my Carrie, never a Thelma to my Louise, a Christina to my Meredith.

You get the picture.

Anyway, it was okay because I had my sisters and brother.

But then we all grew up and my siblings moved and started hanging out with their friends and I was kind of alone to fend for myself.

Luckily for me, I met some awesome people and slowly this world was opened up to me where I had girls and a few guys (hi Brandon) who I could talk to and laugh with and get a little tipsy with once in a while.

While I couldn't ask for a better family (they are truly the best group of people a girl like me could ever ask for), I have now been blessed in the friends department too. I can count some of the greatest women as friends.

I'm so lucky : )

Now that I'm without my favorite ladies and alone in New York (boo), I appreciate them so much more and I really miss having them around.

Instead of moping about it, I just want to say thank you for:

• sitting through The Hills, Gossip Girl, the Real World and all the other awful shows I enjoy watching. You guys never judged me by my ridiculous taste in television.
• letting me convince you that we can't watch a movie without cookies. Or cake. Or alcohol.
• convincing me that we can't watch a movie without cookies. Or cake. Or alcohol.
• letting me sleep over when I was too tired to drive home.
• baking me cakes for my birthday.
• waking me up (no matter how much I protested) and reminding me to take out my contacts.
• taking me dancing.
• eating one of my vegan meals. Actually none of you ever really ate the whole thing. Still...
• staying up with me and listening to me talk about HIM for the millionth time.
• laughing with me about everything and nothing and the absurdity of it all.

I love my girlfriends and I miss them.

What do you want to thank your favorite girls for?

Subway Playlist.

1. Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Heads Will Roll
2. The Sounds- Dorchester Hotel
3. Blondie - Call Me
4. Wheatus - Hump Em and Dump Em
5. Matisyahu - Time of Your Song
6. Regina Spektor - Us
7. Led Zeppelin - Good Times Bad Times
8. Metric - Empty
9. The Rolling Stones - You Can't Always Get What you Want
10. Make Her Say - Kid Cudi
11. Franz Ferdinand - Come on Home
12. The Bravery - Above and Below
13. The Like - Falling Away
14. Santigold - You'll find a way
15. Kid Cudi- That New New
16. Postal Service - Nothing Better
17. Blondie - Maria
18. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Stadium Arcadium
19. Bloc Party - This Modern Love
20. CSS- Off The Hook

Does Monogamy Work?

How do these two do it?

Disclaimer: I am sorry in advance for this particular rant.

Thank you.

You know, as I get older and I get closer to being in the position where I can start actively pursuing my dreams, I can’t help but ask myself how monogamy makes sense.

Hear me out:

I love my alone time, I can literally go a week without really seeing anyone. Don’t get me wrong, I love people but being with someone all the time? ALL THE TIME? Why would anyone want to see a person that much?

And change is constant! We as people are constantly growing and evolving. Won’t our needs and the qualities we desire in partners change too?

And what about our aspirations? I’ve heard relationships are all about compromise but when does compromising get in the way of pursuing our dreams?

Then it hit me; relationships don’t sound that fun. Sure, committing to one person forever sounds all well and good in theory but really think about it: a relationship is all about committing. So is that a promise to never fall out of love? Is that a promise to always love a person who is at the moment your world?

Doesn’t sound fair to me. God forbid a person has a change of heart, right?

For the record, I like to think of myself as a realistic idealist. My parents are happily married and celebrated their 30 year wedding anniversary in December. I’m not jaded, I actually love love.
Birds chirping, angels singing, dancing on clouds love. Whatever, it’s all good.

With that said, I’ve seen enough relationships crash and burn to know they aren’t always a bed of roses.
I think the idea of finding one person to spend forever with is great and I used to look forward to meeting someone I could share my life with.

But with age comes more common sense.

I went on a date with a guy who was great on paper; really single, mature, smart, handsome, morally sound and successful. But when presented with an actual option, the thought of settling down right now made me physically ill. Seriously.

But what do I know? I am your quintessential single gal; I’ve never been in a relationship. I have no cred when it comes to love and committing and all that good stuff.

So I am asking all of the happily domesticated people out there: what’s your favorite thing about being in a committed relationship?