My Life in Pics

New Goat. Yay.

I wish they weren't planning on eating him.

Can We Let Elena Grow The Eff Up? The Vampire Diaries Rant

I LOVE The Vampire Diaries. I'm so into it. Judge away if you want. I'm not ashamed.

I read all four Twilight books. That, I'm ashamed of.

TVD, I'm cool sharing my love for it. The writing is solid, the actors are good and the storylines are interesting. I love going on Youtube and reading comments from Stelena shippers and Delena shippers who are one negative comment away from losing their minds. They are so passionate about their teams and seeing their couple of choice make it to the finish line.

You have the good brother and the bad brother in love with the same girl. Angst, Blah blah blah, Passion, blah blah blah, It's okay to love both of them I did Katherine Pierce bitchness.

 But... Don't you wish for once the girl would wake up and say "I'm a teenager. What do I know about love and forever? I'm going to go out into the world and figure out who I am and not worry about who I'm going to spend the rest of my life (immortality) with."

This is why I love Caroline; I'm of the belief that Mystic Falls and the highschool boyfriend isn't going to be it for her.

 I know, I know. Shut up Juwon. Silly bitch. Of course Elena should pick one of the Salvatore brothers. They're so dreamy.

 I'm Team Delena.

Not Mandatory But Freaking Good: My Blog Girl Crush Part III

Fabiola of Diary of a Third World Fashionista 

ThirdWorldFashionista.com is a blog I stumbled upon while I was procrastinating like a champ. I don't frequent lots of style blogs because I usually can't afford the clothes the girls are wearing but what's so amazingly awesome about Fabi is the fact that she sews most of the clothes she wears.

And they look fantastic.

Besides her boss skills behind a sewing machine, I find it comforting to read about another girl's struggles living in a third-world country.

Now let me make something clear: there are parts of Lagos that are like any other city in the states. People who live in Lekki, Victoria Island, things people take for granted until it's no longer available.

But I live in Alagbado.

We don't have those fun things in the boondocks and it can be a bit boring on my side of town. But Fabi, who lives in Honduras, would tell me to dress up, head to the market and have an impromptu photoshoot among the bootleg DVD stand.

Reading about her adventures in an underdeveloped country motivates me to take my lemons and make a tart yafeelme?

 Love her.

*Photos courtesy of Thirdworldfashionista.com

Dear Kanye West, Um... What Happened?

I listened to "All Falls Down" recently.

I think of the Kanye West of today, look at a pic of Kim Kardashian and get confused. As you may remember, the thought of them together had me bursting into laughter for weeks (click here for a refresher). Not because it was ludicrous but because it was perfect.

They really are perfect for each other.

 But that's because I forgot.

I forgot that before he got precious about fashion to the point of annoyance, before the VMAs, before he became a celebrity, Kanye was about the music and... the music was deep.

He was always a bit of a douche. Cocky and difficult. But no one would ever call him a loser.

Now, well... He's quickly turning into a bit of a loser, right? Like the type of celeb that you just dismiss because rolling your eyes at his antics takes up too much energy.

How sad that he's now someone who I think is perfect for Kim Kardashian.

Ugh, I really hate that I feel this way.

Let Me Introduce You To Some Of My Friends

Once upon a time, I worked as the freelance Healthy Beauty Awards assistant at Self magazine. It was a fun, fun time (and by fun I mean stressful as fuck).

I learned a lot and tried lots of new products and met some awesome ladies who happened to be my co-workers.

Two years later, Johanna, Pia and Runa (and Keli who I met through Pia and Runa) are still some of my favorite people on the planet.

And they're also my personal beauty gurus. Pia did my eye makeup in the bathroom of some club in Bay Ridge once because I looked so plain-jane-blah. I think it was Bay Ridge. I'm not sure where we were. Blame it on the alcohol, I'm a lightweight.

They also keep it real. Like the time Johanna told me my all-natural deodorant was NOT working.

If that's not friendship, I don't know what is.

Check out their sites: Mamalatinas.net (http://articles.mamaslatinas.com/blogger/37/johanna_ferreira)

Xovain.com (http://www.xovain.com/author/pia-and-runa)

My Life In Pics.

Scooby being cute. 2013.

Fatty Logic.

So I've been exercising regularly since January. I run up and down the stairs and do strength exercises and I've gone from being a "as long as it didn't use to move" vegan to a "I like to eat clean so no white flour, rice, sugar" vegan.

And you know what?

It's working. Dammit all that talk about exercise and watching what you eat is true. I've lost weight, I have all this energy, my butt looks good.

 So why oh why did the universe see now as a good time to let my knee problems flare up?

I'm in so much pain. My knees are killing me. They hurt when I climb the stairs, they hurt when I sit, they hurt when I kneel down to greet the old people and they even hurt when I stand too long.

 I'm 27. This is messed up.

Now, I read that a strenuous exercise like stairs should be done every other day so your muscles have time to recuperate. I will admit that I said "eff that, burn fat burn" and did it every day. So I basically screwed myself because now I have to cut back.

The plan is to increase my strength exercises to help my knees muscle up or something. I'll also walk on the days I don't do stairs and hope that it helps.

My point? Basically my knee problems bummed me out big time. Because I've been working so hard and I feel like the stairs were my secret weapon. So what did I do to console myself?

I ate a big bowl of banana pudding yesterday. I made it with the intention of only indulging in a little bit (1/2 a cup) every day. Well that went out the effing window. Banana pudding pie was my lunch, snack and dinner.

That was yesterday. I told myself "no more!" after I finished up my bowl, and promised myself I'd be good today. But then I found pop-tarts and it had been such a long time and I decided "screw it" and ate four.

Inner Dialogue: Fuckity fuck Juwon! Really? Four pop-tarts! FOUR? How are you even functioning? What's wrong with you?

Before, I never really felt guilty about what I ate. Now, I truly feel bad for putting so much crap in my body. I'm still undecided on whether this is a good thing (because being healthy is important) or a bad thing (because I'm also letting societal pressures dictate how I should look).

Oy vey.

I leave you with this:

I won't.
I shouldn't. 
I'll only have a little. 
I'll start over tomorrow. 
Screw it, I've already messed up. 

Fatty logic.

*Banana Pudding Pie recipe coming soon.

Veganize It: Oatmeal Banana Carrot Muffins

Holy Mary Joseph Baby Jesus Chocolate.

 These were so good. So very good. And so freaking easy. Disgustingly easy.

These muffins don't have added sugar or wheat flour in them. And they were good. I wrote that already, sorry.

The modified recipe is below.

The link to the original recipe is below. Enjoy! http://half-bakedbaker.blogspot.com/2009/01/guilt-and-gulten-free-oatmeal-banana.html?m=1

1 1/2 cups of oats makes 1 cup of oat flour

Bake: in 400ºF oven for 20 minutes

1 1/4 cup rolled oats

1 cup soy milk

1/3 cup oil, sunflower or vegetable oil

6 bananas, medium, ripe, mashed

1 1/2 cup oat flour

1/2 tsp cinnamon

1/2 tsp nutmeg

1/2 tsp salt

2 tsp baking powder

1 tsp baking soda

1/2 cup of shredded carrots

 Instructions:

 In a bowl mix together rolled oats and milk. Let soak for 10 minutes. Mix oat flour, salt, spices, baking powder and baking soda in a bowl. Add mashed banana, and oil to rolled oats mixture. Add carrots. Mix well. Add dry ingredients to the rolled oats mixture. Mix well. Fill greased or paper lined muffin cups 2/3 full. Bake for approximately 20 minutes.

Men & Fashion: A Few Tips From a Woman

Hello readers! I had the pleasure of meeting Maurice Ajanaku of Ajanaku.com during Lagos Fashion and Design Week 2012. Ajanaku.com is an awesome lifestyle site that will appeal to anyone with an interest in art, fashion, gourmet food and the other pretty things in life.

I wrote a post for the site a few months back and I want to share it.

If you're a guy: I'm here to help you not look like a douche.

If you;re a girl: I'm here to help you help your guy not look like a douche.

Check out the cheeky post here.


Did I miss any essential points?

Kim Kardashian Graces Lagos With Her Presence

I only uploaded this photo because I like that shirt. What? I'm not going to hate on Givenchy because she's wearing it!

First of all, read this because it's so on point.

So this post was written weeks ago and I'm just getting around to uploading it. It's not really relevant anymore but when has that ever stopped me from ranting?

Oh yes. There is a rant involved in this post.

Shall we begin?

Like many, I was surprised to learn Kim K was in Lagos. I stupidly thought she was there to sit on a panel for Social Media Week since it started the Monday after she was in Lagos.

See, social media played such an integral part in the success of the Kardashian brand, it would actually be interesting to hear what the reality star had to say about Twitter, Celebuzz and Instagram's contribution to her fame.

Alas, I gave my country and the Kardashian too much credit. Kim Kardashian wasn't there to talk to Nigeria's youth at a free event (silly Juwon), she was there to co-host a party for the premiere of some movie. A party attended by Nigeria's 1% because who else would spend N100,000 for a ticket?

Kim Kardashian was paid $500,000 to come to Lagos. The pregnant starlet was in Lagos for less than 24 hours. She stayed at the party long enough to say "Hey Naija" and then she left.

Now my fellow Nigerians are pissed. How dare she?!?

*This is where my rant begins.

 Don't be upset with Kim Kardashian people. She's a business woman and because you all seem to love her to the point of stupidity (Why though? I really want to know), she can demand $500,000 for an appearance.

And unless it was worked into her contract that she should stay at the party the whole time, she wasn't obligated to be there for long. Also, maybe the organizers should have brought her here to do something other than host a party. I'm guessing that would have cost more? Maybe she should have been asked to do something that would boost the tourism in Nigeria or at the very least been suitable for a photo op?

 If it was me, I would have negotiated a deal where she was photographed by the AP at one of Nigerian designer's studio or at Temple Muse (closed for her and her people so they wouldn't have to talk to the commoners). The caption would have read " Kim Kardashian explores the shopping scene in Lagos".

 Publicity, something we could have used. Something that could have appeared on People.com or any international website or paper that would showcase Lagos's appeal as a tourist destination. While I'm just assuming, I highly doubt that crossed the organizers minds. Because, in my opinion, the people with the money don't think that way.

Be upset with the people in this country with billion dollar homes and village mentalities. These are the people who will do anything and spend anything to prove they have arrived. They are basic. They are rich but they are still low-classy. These are the people who have four brand new cars in their home and pay their househelp N7000 a month. These are the people who are trying to keep up with countries like the US and the UK but they refuse to do the work to get to that level.

Hey Nigeria, you skipped a few steps on your way to baller status. More than 5% of your citizens have to have enough food to eat to be considered a developed country. How about we fix that before we start paying people who are famous for nothing you can talk to your mother about to visit our country?

Let me ask this: did Nigerians expect an American reality star to be super-psyched at the idea of hosting a party in Lagos? Lagos is a metropolitan city with lots of promise. But she landed in our shitty airport, drove on our shitty roads and probably saw a few things that would shock any sheltered American. Maybe Kim K is wondering how she is getting paid $500,000 when the country is obviously impoverished.

Maybe I'm giving her too much credit.

At the end of the day, I really don't see why anyone should be upset. Kim K got half a million dollars for showing up and everyone who attended can brag about partying with a KARDASHIAN.

Keep on dreaming big Nigeria.

Subway Playlist: Working Out Sucks So Bad But Music Makes iIt Beter.

I'm trying to lose weight. I don't want to get into it. It just makes me mad.

I hate watching what I eat. I just want to be able to eat something I like until I'm full.

I hate working out. I hate sweating. I hate it when my heart rate increases. I hate floor exercises, stomach exercises and squats. I hate sweating (it needed to be mentioned twice).

Let's not even begin to discuss what working out has done to my hair. Frizzy, kinky roots are not something I can make work.

But I monitor what I eat and I work out anyway. I fucking hate it but I do it and I'll continue to do it because if I don't I'll gain weight and make it easier for life to screw me and give me diabetes, cancer, high-blood pressure etc.

Anywho, this playlist rocks my world and helps me forget about the sweat:

Calvin Harris - Feel So Close

Metric - Dead Disco

Metric - Monster Hospital

Alex Clare - Too Close

Metric - Help I'm Alive

Beyonce - Get me Bodied

Beyonce - Diva

Shakira - La Tortura

Shakira - Loca

Beyonce - Green Light

Taylor Swift - We Are Never Getting Back Together

Pitbull - Hey Baby

The songs aren't exactly new but they help me get revved up enough to keep on going.

I run up and down a flight of stairs for the 44 mins of this playlist, visualizing myself driving my dream car, dancing up a storm in a Parisian nightclub, having a blast at my book release party, hanging out with my friends in Orlando, NY, and Antigua, salsa dancing in Miami in a sexy orangey-pink dress.

I get super-specific with my daydreams.

My Life in Pics

NYC 2012.

Not Mandatory But Freaking Good: My Blog Girl Crushes Part I.

The true test of whether I'm obsessed with a blog is if I read all the old posts. I have (sometimes more than once) with all of the blogs I'll be writing about in this series.

If I could invite anyone I wanted to a dinner party, these are some of the ladies that would be on my list. I not only love their blogs but I have a major girl crush on all of them as well.

Speaking of girl crushes, shout out to Jenna Marbles, an honorable mention on "my girl crush list". For those who don't understand the concept of a girl crush, I'mma let Jenna explain it.:

Are you schooled? Great. Shall we begin?

My Blog Girl Crushes: Laney Crowell of Downtownromantic.com

I first "met" Laney through her blog "Dating a Banker Anonymous". I followed her when she started FaLoMe.com which later became (Downtownromantic.com) because getting a glimpse into Laney's life was way too addictive to stop.

Laney frequents the restaurants you'd eat at, wears the clothes you'd buy, cooks the food you'd make and is the person you'd be if life was fair.

It's not by the way.

AND she's incredibly nice so you can't hate on her. She's kind of like to me what Gwyneth Paltrow is to Lainey (I'll get to her later). I trust her taste. I have actually emailed her before picking a venue for my birthday, before heading to LA for vacation and before moving to Nigeria. The crazy thing is, she gets back to me! How crazy is it that someone who is as busy as she is, takes the time to reply to an email sent by someone she's never even met?

 I'm a fan for life.

* All photos from Downtownromantic.com

Veganize It: Sugar Cookies

These are from Christmas. I know this post is late. We've already established that I'm a shitty blogger. Don't dwell on it. Let's move on.

These cookies are awesome. They're dare I say it? The best vegan sugar cookies I've ever eaten too many of.

 Where did I find the recipe? I don't know... But I do have the recipe and have no problem stating THIS IS NOT MINE.

If you know who made these, let me know so I can source it.

 The shitty photo is mine.

Here's the recipe:

Mr. Cookie Baker's (Vegan) Cookies

Makes about 3 trays full of cookies

5 cups all-purpose flour
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup earth balance
1 1/2 cups sugar
2 eggs worth of egg replacer or 1/2 cup applesauce
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/2 tsp maple extract
1/4 cup plus
2 tbsp non-dairy milk

Notes: I used vegetable oil because we don't have Earth Balance in Nigeria. And I used applesauce (homemade applesauce what-what)

1. Mix together 2 cups of the flour, baking powder and salt in a medium bowl.

2. In a large bowl, cream together the earth balance and sugar. Then beat in the egg-replacer, vanilla, maple and non-dairy milk.

3. Stir the dry into the wet and gradually add enough remaining flour until the dough is stiff enough to roll out.

4. Form the dough into a ball, wrap in plastic wrap and chill for at least 1 hour.

5. Preheat the oven to 375º and roll out the dough on a floured surface to about 1/8" thickness.

6. Cut out into pretty shapes, then re-roll and repeat until all the dough is used up!

7. Bake the cookies on an un-greased cookie sheet for about 10 minutes or until lightly browned.

I didn't bother with frosting but just in case you feel like it, here ya go.

Frosting:
2 tbsp earth balance
2 cups powdered sugar
1 tsp vanilla
1/4 cup soy milk

1. Combine all of the ingredients in a food processor and mix on high until smooth and creamy.

2. Divide into separate bowls and mix a couple drops of food coloring into each bowl. Once the cookies are completely cool, decorate them with frosting and sprinkles and place them on parchment paper to let the frosting set.

I'm A Shitty Blogger.

I know I haven't updated my blog in months. I know some people manage to blog regularly, work a 9-5 job, wear amazing clothes, and cook amazing meals. I know there are some people who manage to do all of that and blog about it.

I'm not that person. I started working on a project in January that has taken over my life. The only time I really get dressed up is if I'm going to church. My meals consist of five ingredients or less and don't involve a stove.

 I'd love to write "I'm here to stay" and "I'll be updating regularly" but those are lies. The truth is, I have to put what I love doing (writing posts on this blog) to the side because I have a job that is paying me a good amount of of money and I write this blog for free.

With that little disclaimer out of the way, I do have about 20 new posts written so yay!

Thanks for checking in :)