Boys. A Lesson.

This is the most recent lesson I’ve learned about the opposite sex but I’m sure it can be applied to females too.

For the last eight years, I have been in love with the same person. You could say we were in a relationship. Except, you have to commit to someone to be in a relationship. So forget about the relationship part.

You know how in season two of Grey’s Anatomy, Meredith gives Derek the “choose me” speech (I totally recommend you watch it; it’s very touching)?

Anyway, while he doesn’t choose her at first, he does by the end of the season. Problem resolved in about ten episodes. Aww, what a sweet scripted scene from a television show!

Am I bitter? Of course I am.

See, I gave that boy the “choose me” speech pretty much every six months for years. I did everything but beg him to trust me enough to believe it when I said I wanted to be with him. But he never did and I felt like I somehow wasn’t doing enough for him to feel secure in what we had. So I gave more speeches and I wrote more emails. Do you know what I learned from this?

Don’t be with a guy who’s insecure because you will spend years trying to reassure someone who can’t be bothered to reassure you.

Along this eight year journey, I’ve had many epiphanies about the boy. I would tell family and friends “I’m done” but I never really was because he IS a great guy and I DO really care about him. And I truly believed he loved me despite the fact that he was too scared to at least try to be in a relationship with me. What has finally dawned on me is this:

If a guy really loves you, you shouldn’t have to persuade him to be with you. That person will want to take the chance even if it means the relationship will fail. That person will have enough faith to take the leap. If he or she doesn’t, it isn’t worth it.

So when you say you’re done, it better be for good.

Thank you light bulb.