Today in Frivolity

• Ashley Greene and Joe Jonas Caught Shopping At a Sex Shop!?! Yes, according to HollywoodLife.com. But they’re full of dog poo. Ashley Greene was seen at erotic boutique Coco de Mer. Joe Jonas was nowhere in sight. He was probably off somewhere looking in the mirror.
  
  
• So Jennifer Lopez and Steven Tyler are the new American Idol hosts. That’s exciting. Or it’s not. So some will definitely start watching. Or they won’t. How do you like those odds Fox?
  
  
• Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of Jersey Shore fame is moving to LA! Oh come on! This is so unfair; why does LA get all the ridiculously entertaining famewhores? Don’t we on the east coast deserve reality TV stars that aren’t botox-poisoned housewives? Spread the wealth LA!
  
  You know what? Fine, have The Situation but we want to keep Snooki.
  
  
• Did you sigh a sigh of relief when The Hills ended and you realized the world was this step closer to forgetting about the spawn of Laguna Beach? Well inhale, because Lauren “LC” Conrad is heading back to MTV. Conrad chatted with Ryan Seacrest on Friday about returning to “her roots” stating “"It'd be safe to say [yes] . . . It would follow my career, set in L.A."
  
  So it’s exactly like The Hills. Instead of pretending the cast actually dates/ spends time together when the cameras aren’t rolling, we’ll have to pretend LC has a career as anything other than a reality star. Sorry, but designing line after mediocre line for Kohls doesn’t make you a designer and putting your name on a book doesn’t make you an author.
  
  I do think Lauren Conrad is adorable and a fantastic dresser. She could be a great designer with some training.
  
  
• So a few weeks ago a rumor went around claiming Kate Bosworth cheated on Alexander Skarsgard with her highschool boyfriend after finding out Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr were not only married but expecting. Did you catch that? Anyway, I called bullshit and apparently so did a lot of people.
  
  Kate Bosworth cheat on Alexander Skarsgard? Yawn, please. Tabloids would have better luck convincing people Clay Aiken is straight. I mean really? Look at Alexander Skarsgard. Watch him during one of his charming interviews. The girl is skinny, not effing stupid.